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Submitted on
September 15, 2012
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6.8 KB
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Notes:
-This is an art trade with ~Makazay for some Hetalia oneshots ^^ Sorry this one is short :< But I still like it! ^^
I do not own Hetalia, the Characters, or You*
--

England wasn't always the smoothest with women; usually he said something unnecessary or boring and the girl simply walked off. He was always trying his luck by being himself, but he just couldn't seem to get the women to notice him, even the girl he really wanted to get noticed by, _____. She was like an angel in his eyes, always polite and respectful towards him, unlike most people. And she always had a gorgeous smile on her soft lips, a smile that could warm any heart; his heart had already experienced the sensation.

A deep sigh passed his lips as he pressed his palms to his forehead in thought and anger, elbows resting against his office desk. "Why can't I have that attractiveness like frog face?" he groaned, slumping in his chair as he moped. "He always gets the ladies, no matter where he goes or what he does," he began to rant again.

When he realized that, once again, he was jealous of the French's ways; he simply sat back in his chair and took a deep breath in attempt to calm his fidgeting nerves. Suddenly, an idea struck him. Why not just ask the amphibian-eating man himself?

~

"I wouldn't even tell you what my favorite color is!" the French argued heatedly against the phone in his hand.

From the other end came a sigh. "Please, France, you have to help me! I want to talk to _____, but I don't know what to say to her. You brag about how romantic you are, so why not give me some pointers?" England tried his luck again. At the mention of your name, France seemed to feel a bit bad for the Englishman; you were pretty far out of his league in France's eyes. But why not give the limey a chance?

"Alright, I can help you. But only because it's _____! Now, all you have to do is-"

~

*Knock knock knock*

England pulled on the collar of his nice jacket, trying to let some air in to cool his perspiring neck. He was so nervous, and so awkward with the directions he was given, but he was going to give it his best attempt. But if he was so confident, why were his palms growing moist and his legs trembling? Usually he was very confident about things like this, but for some reason, he was terrified.

Perhaps he was terrified that you would reject him, just like all the other women he had talked to. It could be that you weren't interested in him, or that you were already involved in a relationship with somebody else. No, if that were the case, he would have seen you with someone already. Having that in mind, it helped him steady himself a bit as he regained his posture.

He looked down at the small notecard in his hand, giving a quick reminder of what he was supposed to do and how to do it. Hopefully frog-breath didn't set him up to something.

His thoughts were torn from him as he heard your front door open slowly to reveal your soft face, though it was in a slightly confused face.

"England?" you asked to make sure you weren't seeing things. When he nodded his head quickly, you couldn't help but smile. "It's good to see you! Please, come inside," you opened the door completely to allow him room as you stepped away from the door.

"Thank you," he spoke again, walking into the house and taking his shoes off. When he did, he looked up to meet your eyes with a soft smile. You returned the simple gesture and walked into the living room, him following, to sit down on the soft couch. He did the same, stuffing the note in his pocket as he cleared his throat.

You looked up at him at the sudden noise. "Would you like me to get some water for you?" you offered, getting a nod and a "yes, please" in return. Quickly you got up and made your way into the kitchen, getting two glasses. You filled them with ice and then followed up with the water. As you made your way back, you found England breathing unsteadily as he seemed to be talking quietly to himself.

"Here you go," you sat down, holding his water out to him. He generously took it, taking a sip. You put your lips to the rim of the cup and tilted your head back, letting the cool water cascade into your mouth. When you had enough water, you let the cup fall back to its previous position, and then set it on the table. England followed after a large gulp of water.

"So, England, why are you here?" you asked curiously to the man. Instantly he seemed to freeze up, his cheeks turning pink. You couldn't help but smile at how adorable he was at the moment.

"_____, y-you make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae." Your face scrunched in confusion, a single eyebrow rising. You could only think of one response.

"What?"

"Can I read your shirt in braille?" he continued, you giving the same weird look. "A-are you a computer whiz? Because you know how to turn my software into hardware," he spoke somewhat awkwardly. Instantly your face flushed. "_____, I want to strap you on like a feedbag. One leg over each ear."

Your face grew bright red, your cheeks feeling like they were on fire. With your eyes staring at him widely, you couldn't help but stare at him in amazement. Then you noticed how red his cheeks were as well.

"E-England?" you asked him. He suddenly sighed, his head dropping.

"I'm sorry, _____," he started, "I was just trying to make this work. I didn't want to be the boring man everyone thinks I am," he tried to explain but you were still a bit confused.

"But where did you find the idea to use pickup lines?" you asked him. He looked down again.

"I asked frog-face for help, and that's what he told me to do," he admitted. "I just didn't want to bore you, or scare you away for something I said."

You gave him a soft smile, your cheeks starting to cool down. You gently reached a hand out, cupping his cheek. His eyes instantly snapped up as he looked at you in surprise. "You don't need those silly tips from France to talk to me," you spoke sincerely, "I like you for who you were. And just for the record, I didn't think you were boring. If anything, you were very funny," you finished with a big smile. Instantly you saw England's emerald green eyes soften greatly as he looked into your eyes longingly.

"_____, I have one last offer. There are 206 bones in the body… Do you want one more of mine?"

You deadpanned at his question. "I'll take you up on that offer another time, but for now…No more pickup lines, please…."

T H E ~ E N D
:bulletgreen:Picture: [link] by *Bikkisu

:bulletblue:Art trade with ~Makazay

Hurray, a oneshot! :iconyayenglandplz: And this is probably the shortest one I've ever did ;A; I feel so... unaccomplished... :iconotlplz:

I don't have a lot of time, so I'll come back and finish the description later... :iconmehplz:

Hetalia (C) :iconhimaruyaplz:
Plot (C) :iconsy62697:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconzombienarwall:
zombienarwall Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That was the most beautifu thing I have ever read. :iconclapplz:
Reply
:iconjuicyjuicehypotenuse:
JuicyJuiceHypotenuse Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That last line totally got me XDD
Reply
:icon2000kittykatz:
2000kittykatz Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! XD
Reply
:icon2000kittykatz:
2000kittykatz Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013
Hahahahaha!! ~ZoetheICONiac
Reply
:iconsindysugar:
sindysugar Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
I was like this, when reading England's pickup lines: :iconlolzcatplz:
Reply
:iconthederpmasterofdoom:
TheDerpMasterOfDoom Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Me too
Reply
:iconmentalityscanvas:
mentalitysCanvas Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
I third ^^
Reply
:iconzombienarwall:
zombienarwall Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Fourth!
Reply
:iconpuritymaiden101:
PurityMaiden101 Featured By Owner May 7, 2014
Fifth!
Reply
:iconlilninetails:
LilNineTails Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh goodness...
*Pets England's fluffy hair in pity* You're so friggin' adorkable. I'll take you up on that last offer.
Reply
:iconatlantisreturns:
AtlantisReturns Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
this... i don't even know what to say to this...
Reply
:iconkumajiro921:
Kumajiro921 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013   Artist
One I was expecting from Iggy: "Are you from Camelot? Because when I saw you I "Came-a-lot"~" But the pickup lines were really amusing~
Reply
:icon109144:
109144 Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg this line...SHALL BE USED ONE DAY. IT'S GENIUS.
Reply
:icondarkthehedgbat:
darkthehedgbat Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
Dude when I read that pickup line you said I almost died laughing
Reply
:iconkumajiro921:
Kumajiro921 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013   Artist
One of my favorite pick up lines actually >////////<
Reply
:icondarkthehedgbat:
darkthehedgbat Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
I can see why haha
Reply
:iconyasminkirkland1031:
YasminKirkland1031 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Interesting pickup lines...
Reply
:iconstatiquesagitta:
statiqueSagitta Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
I knew pick-up lines like that... the software one was once used to get to me, ugh :iconfacepalmplz: and some other......... yeah, boys can leave you saying "Oh, brother... Go away..."
but not England for sure! :D he's too... cute >////>
Reply
:iconemeraldpeacock:
EmeraldPeacock Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Interesting pickup lines. Definitly ones France would use. xD
Reply
:icon12bfeygirl42:
12bfeygirl42 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh Iggy...
~le facepalm
Reply
:iconrosapretty:
RosaPretty Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
never listen to france he doesn't know what he's talking about England, I like you because you're a gentleman and you treat woman right
Reply
:iconkimberlygirl12:
Kimberlygirl12 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
CRIPES IS FRANCE A PERVERT!!!Did England really not understand what he was saying???
Reply
:iconreddeathhots:
RedDeathHots Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And that kids, is why you NEVER take advice from France. :D
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Writer
:iconfoshoplz:
Reply
:icontokio616:
tokio616 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
oh god XD
Reply
:iconsilvermoonlitsoul:
Silvermoonlitsoul Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good God...all his pick-up lines....:iconpervygermanyplz: THEY REMIND ME OF AMERICA.
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Student Writer
xD I was trying to think of something France would use, lol. :iconus-xdplz:
Reply
:iconsilvermoonlitsoul:
Silvermoonlitsoul Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Being an America fan-girl, my mind always wanders off to him even when I'm reading about some other country...I try to imagine what he would do in the same situation. LOL And HIS pick-up lines were...:iconimblushingplz:
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Student Writer
Makes sense. XD Lol, I tried to make it funny ,and I guess I did ^^
Reply
:iconsilvermoonlitsoul:
Silvermoonlitsoul Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
YUP,it was hilarious! :D
Reply
:iconcomicsandbritainia99:
Giod lord I cannot stop laughing!
Reply
:iconmnster23:
mnster23 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012
anytime a guy uses pickup lines against me.....i face palm and rofl, then they walk away lol
Reply
:iconakikogurl:
AkikoGurl Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012
oh my god the pick up lines are so...... OTL lol
Reply
:icondgraygirl-alysshatts:
DGrayGirl-AlyssHatts Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
.....-died laughing- Can you note me some pickup lines? I need some for one of my OCs.....
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Student Writer
What kind of pickup lines? o.o Like just simple ones, or cough dirty cough bad ones?
Reply
:icondgraygirl-alysshatts:
DGrayGirl-AlyssHatts Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Both....mainly naughty.....
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Student Writer
Here's a website that might work better than me xD [link]
Reply
:icondgraygirl-alysshatts:
DGrayGirl-AlyssHatts Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks...
Reply
:icondarkangelicnightmare:
DarkAngelicNightmare Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD

Pick-up lines always make me laugh!

Gott, this is so funny!
Reply
:icondreamssurroundsus:
DreamsSurroundsUs Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Aaaah, the pick-up lines XD... Such bad advice, France... :iconlaughingplz:
I loved it XD !
Reply
:iconzelvya:
Zelvya Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm... Iggy, saying things like those... are you ready for the consequences? ohonhonhonhon.....
Reply
:iconiscribblekirklandz:
iScribbleKirklandz Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconiggybrowsplz:
Reply
:iconmakazay:
Makazay Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:iconiloveitplz: I'm trying to work on yours asap if I have time. :iconmiseryplz: I have alot to do...
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Student Writer
yay! ^^ But you don't have to rush yourself xD I've been pretty busy too, so no need to get overworked ^^
Reply
:iconmakazay:
Makazay Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I know my plan to finish them this weekend backed fired and I went to a friend's house XD
Reply
:iconsy62697:
sy62697 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Student Writer
That's fine xD I had a volleyball game, and then all day yesterday I was helping plan my mom's wedding and look for a dress. ^^ (She's getting re-married)
Reply
:iconmakazay:
Makazay Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
XD (Good for your mom)
Reply
:iconsmyers546:
smyers546 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
.... I read that with his voice narrating in my head... Those pick up lines are bloody awful, however, if he had said them to me I definitely would..... *sigh*
Reply
:iconellenyan:
ElleNyan Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LMFAO OH YOU, IGGY, YOU :iconoh-u-plz:
Reply
:iconartisticallyderpy:
ArtisticallyDerpy Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This was cute and funny~
I died at the pick up lines xD
Good job~ :3
Reply
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