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Submitted on
September 15, 2012
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201 (who?)

-This is an art trade with ~Makazay for some Hetalia oneshots ^^ Sorry this one is short :< But I still like it! ^^
I do not own Hetalia, the Characters, or You*

England wasn't always the smoothest with women; usually he said something unnecessary or boring and the girl simply walked off. He was always trying his luck by being himself, but he just couldn't seem to get the women to notice him, even the girl he really wanted to get noticed by, _____. She was like an angel in his eyes, always polite and respectful towards him, unlike most people. And she always had a gorgeous smile on her soft lips, a smile that could warm any heart; his heart had already experienced the sensation.

A deep sigh passed his lips as he pressed his palms to his forehead in thought and anger, elbows resting against his office desk. "Why can't I have that attractiveness like frog face?" he groaned, slumping in his chair as he moped. "He always gets the ladies, no matter where he goes or what he does," he began to rant again.

When he realized that, once again, he was jealous of the French's ways; he simply sat back in his chair and took a deep breath in attempt to calm his fidgeting nerves. Suddenly, an idea struck him. Why not just ask the amphibian-eating man himself?


"I wouldn't even tell you what my favorite color is!" the French argued heatedly against the phone in his hand.

From the other end came a sigh. "Please, France, you have to help me! I want to talk to _____, but I don't know what to say to her. You brag about how romantic you are, so why not give me some pointers?" England tried his luck again. At the mention of your name, France seemed to feel a bit bad for the Englishman; you were pretty far out of his league in France's eyes. But why not give the limey a chance?

"Alright, I can help you. But only because it's _____! Now, all you have to do is-"


*Knock knock knock*

England pulled on the collar of his nice jacket, trying to let some air in to cool his perspiring neck. He was so nervous, and so awkward with the directions he was given, but he was going to give it his best attempt. But if he was so confident, why were his palms growing moist and his legs trembling? Usually he was very confident about things like this, but for some reason, he was terrified.

Perhaps he was terrified that you would reject him, just like all the other women he had talked to. It could be that you weren't interested in him, or that you were already involved in a relationship with somebody else. No, if that were the case, he would have seen you with someone already. Having that in mind, it helped him steady himself a bit as he regained his posture.

He looked down at the small notecard in his hand, giving a quick reminder of what he was supposed to do and how to do it. Hopefully frog-breath didn't set him up to something.

His thoughts were torn from him as he heard your front door open slowly to reveal your soft face, though it was in a slightly confused face.

"England?" you asked to make sure you weren't seeing things. When he nodded his head quickly, you couldn't help but smile. "It's good to see you! Please, come inside," you opened the door completely to allow him room as you stepped away from the door.

"Thank you," he spoke again, walking into the house and taking his shoes off. When he did, he looked up to meet your eyes with a soft smile. You returned the simple gesture and walked into the living room, him following, to sit down on the soft couch. He did the same, stuffing the note in his pocket as he cleared his throat.

You looked up at him at the sudden noise. "Would you like me to get some water for you?" you offered, getting a nod and a "yes, please" in return. Quickly you got up and made your way into the kitchen, getting two glasses. You filled them with ice and then followed up with the water. As you made your way back, you found England breathing unsteadily as he seemed to be talking quietly to himself.

"Here you go," you sat down, holding his water out to him. He generously took it, taking a sip. You put your lips to the rim of the cup and tilted your head back, letting the cool water cascade into your mouth. When you had enough water, you let the cup fall back to its previous position, and then set it on the table. England followed after a large gulp of water.

"So, England, why are you here?" you asked curiously to the man. Instantly he seemed to freeze up, his cheeks turning pink. You couldn't help but smile at how adorable he was at the moment.

"_____, y-you make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae." Your face scrunched in confusion, a single eyebrow rising. You could only think of one response.


"Can I read your shirt in braille?" he continued, you giving the same weird look. "A-are you a computer whiz? Because you know how to turn my software into hardware," he spoke somewhat awkwardly. Instantly your face flushed. "_____, I want to strap you on like a feedbag. One leg over each ear."

Your face grew bright red, your cheeks feeling like they were on fire. With your eyes staring at him widely, you couldn't help but stare at him in amazement. Then you noticed how red his cheeks were as well.

"E-England?" you asked him. He suddenly sighed, his head dropping.

"I'm sorry, _____," he started, "I was just trying to make this work. I didn't want to be the boring man everyone thinks I am," he tried to explain but you were still a bit confused.

"But where did you find the idea to use pickup lines?" you asked him. He looked down again.

"I asked frog-face for help, and that's what he told me to do," he admitted. "I just didn't want to bore you, or scare you away for something I said."

You gave him a soft smile, your cheeks starting to cool down. You gently reached a hand out, cupping his cheek. His eyes instantly snapped up as he looked at you in surprise. "You don't need those silly tips from France to talk to me," you spoke sincerely, "I like you for who you were. And just for the record, I didn't think you were boring. If anything, you were very funny," you finished with a big smile. Instantly you saw England's emerald green eyes soften greatly as he looked into your eyes longingly.

"_____, I have one last offer. There are 206 bones in the body… Do you want one more of mine?"

You deadpanned at his question. "I'll take you up on that offer another time, but for now…No more pickup lines, please…."

T H E ~ E N D
:bulletgreen:Picture: [link] by *Bikkisu

:bulletblue:Art trade with ~Makazay

Hurray, a oneshot! :iconyayenglandplz: And this is probably the shortest one I've ever did ;A; I feel so... unaccomplished... :iconotlplz:

I don't have a lot of time, so I'll come back and finish the description later... :iconmehplz:

Hetalia (C) :iconhimaruyaplz:
Plot (C) :iconsy62697:
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zombienarwall Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That was the most beautifu thing I have ever read. :iconclapplz:
JuicyJuiceHypotenuse Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That last line totally got me XDD
2000kittykatz Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013
2000kittykatz Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013
Hahahahaha!! ~ZoetheICONiac
sindysugar Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
I was like this, when reading England's pickup lines: :iconlolzcatplz:
TheDerpMasterOfDoom Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Me too
mentalitysCanvas Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
I third ^^
zombienarwall Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
PurityMaiden101 Featured By Owner May 7, 2014
LilNineTails Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh goodness...
*Pets England's fluffy hair in pity* You're so friggin' adorkable. I'll take you up on that last offer.
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